Morning Glow
by Eilonwy4
Summary: Duo mourns Heero's death. PG-13 to be safe. Mild slash. Please review.


A/N: My friend (Gil-dae) and I had a deal that we would each write stories in genres we don't normally do. She's a kind of angsty writer whereas I prefer fluff; so we decreed that I had to write a death-fic and she had to write a fluff. And here is the result. I hope you enjoy my foray into this area.  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own GW (although I really want a Duo plushie) and "Morning Glow" belongs to Aoki Mayuko and is from the FFX I think. A song by Simple Plan was the other inspiration for this fic but I can't remember which one.  
  
Warnings: character death, slash, Duo/Relena action, a little bit of cursing

* * *

Duo was the only one left in the graveyard. The priest had left hours ago and even the workers had gone after filling in his koi's grave. Duo's braid fell over his shoulder and brushed the fresh earth. The tears had stopped falling long ago. Now there was only emptiness.  
  
The sun sank below the tree line and Duo roused himself from his stupor. He took the golden cross from around his neck and dug a shallow hole. He placed it reverently in the earth and laid a single white rose on top.  
  
"Goodbye, Heero."

* * *

His small apartment loomed. The lights were too bright, the TV too loud. Duo turned them both off. It felt uncomfortable to lie alone in Heero's and his bed so Duo collapsed on the couch, still in his nice clothes, and fell into a tortured sleep.  
  
The shrill ringing of the phone awoke him the next morning. He ignored it and rolled over on the couch. The noise continued however. Duo grudgingly stood up and staggered to the phone in the kitchen.  
  
"Hello?" he grunted.  
  
"Duo? Oh my God. Have you seen the news? They're saying that Heero's...."  
  
"It's all true, Relena," Duo said wearily. "Heero's dead."  
  
"Oh my God. Oh my God. How? How can this be happening?"  
  
"Oh, God, I don't know. I don't know, dammit! I was there! I shoulda done something. How could I have just stood there? I didn't do anything!" Duo was sobbing now. He slumped to the floor, clutching the phone like it was his last lifeline.  
  
"Oh, Duo, Duo, Duo," Relena soothed. "It wasn't your fault. You couldn't have done anything."  
  
"Yes I could have! I'm a goddamned Gundam pilot! I should have known. I should have known."  
  
"Duo, calm down. I'm coming over there before you do something stupid. And listen to me: you could not have done anything to stop it. It was a horrible accident. It wasn't your fault at all."  
  
Duo gave a dry noise that could have been a laugh or a sob.  
  
"I'll see you soon, Duo. Go, watch cartoons or something. But stay there! I'll be right over."  
  
Duo nodded and then realized she couldn't see him and choked out, "I'll see you soon, Relena."  
  
She hung up and Duo buried his face in his hands. Sobs wracked his body once again. "Oh, Heero," he moaned. "Why? Why did you leave me?"  
  
When the tears had subsided he stood up and made himself as presentable as possible. Then he sat on the couch and stared at the TV. He managed to force himself to turn it on, but could only watch the cartoons for three minutes before he felt sick and changed the channel. A newsman was talking about a car wreck in a nearby city. Duo watched uninterestedly for a few minutes and was about to change the channel when a name drew his attention.  
  
"Famed Gundam pilot, Heero Yuy, was shot yesterday by an unknown sniper, presumed to be an OZ supporter. The country and indeed the entire world continues to mourn his loss. In other news..."  
  
Duo snapped off the TV. to morn his loss." What did that mean? They couldn't mourn him, not in the way they should. He was just another name. Another soldier to add to the list of dead. Duo closed his eyes. He could picture Heero. The image was so clear: Heero, lying spread-eagled on the sidewalk. There had been blood everywhere. Duo wasn't squeamish, he couldn't be, but he had felt the bile rise in his throat. It was /Heero's/ blood. His koi's blood. When the paramedics had proclaimed Heero dead it had been a blow in Duo's gut. This was /Heero/ they were talking about. The suicidal idiot who could survive a self-destruct, a trip to the bottom of the ocean, a fall down a cliff. Heero could survive /anything/. Duo had told them they were wrong; to check again. There had to be a pulse somewhere. Heero would not, could not die. Duo ran his fingers up and down his braid. It was a nervous habit of his. Whenever something went wrong he automatically reached for his braid. If Heero had been here... No! He wouldn't dwell. He owed Heero that much at least.  
  
The doorbell rang and he wandered idly to the door. It was Relena as he had suspected.  
  
"I'm sorry I'm a bit late. I stopped to get some food."  
  
"Oh. Thanks, I guess."  
  
"You don't look too good, Duo. Are you alright?"  
  
"Hell no, I'm not alright! My boyfriend just died. It's going to take some time to cope with that, don't cha think?"  
  
"I- I'm sorry Duo. Of course you're not alright. Nobody expects you to be. But you do need to eat."  
  
Duo rubbed a hand over his eyes. "Sorry I snapped at you like that. I don't think I got enough sleep last night."  
  
"It's perfectly okay." Relena set her bag on the kitchen table and sighed. "Look, Duo. If you need to, you know, get away from here for awhile, I'm sure any of the pilots would take you in."  
  
"No! No. I need to be here. Heero- Heero would have wanted it. I would have wanted him to do the same thing."  
  
"Okay. Well, do you want me to stay with you for a few days?"  
  
"Umm, that would be most helpful. I want to stay here but I don't really want to be by myself, you know?"  
  
"I understand completely. Do you have a spare bedroom?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
Duo settled Relena into her new accommodations and went into the living area. He had grabbed a blanket from his bed and he curled up underneath it and fell into a fitful sleep.

* * *

Relena was awakened at three in the morning by a yell from the living room. She pulled on a dressing gown and hurried in.  
  
Duo was thrashing about on the couch and tears streamed down his face. "Heero!" he cried. "Heero, come back! I can't find you! Come back!"  
  
Relena lurked awkwardly by the wall, wondering what she could do. Finally she came to a conclusion and edged cautiously towards the distraught teen. "Duo?" she whispered. "Duo, wake up. It's just a dream, Duo." She cautiously placed and hand on his shoulder. He jumped, but his cries stopped. "That's right Duo. Calm down, everything's going to be alright."  
  
Duo's breathing settled and his face relaxed. "Heero," he murmured.  
  
"That's it Duo. Go back to sleep now." Relena stood up and turned to go back to bed as well, but a hand caught her hair as she tried to leave. "Duo..." she started indignantly, until she realized that he was asleep. "Oh, Duo..."  
  
Relena smiled at her sleeping charge and lay down beside him on the small couch. 'It's a good thing we're both skinny...' she thought, before drifting off to sleep.

* * *

When Relena awoke, firm arms were wrapped around her middle and someone was nuzzling her neck. "Mmm," she murmured. "Feels good."  
  
A pair of soft lips traced a trail down her long neck and began to kiss the angle where her shoulder met her neck. A nimble tongue dipped into the hollow of her throat and she let out a little moan.  
  
"Mmmm, Heero," groaned a voice behind her.  
  
Relena was suddenly and immediately awake. "Duo?" she asked cautiously. Her questioned was answered by a mumble from the boy at her back. "Duo, wake up," she said, raising her voice.  
  
"I dun wanna get up, Hee-chan. You can't make me."  
  
"Duo! I'm not Heero, wake up!"  
  
Duo's eyes snapped open. "Wha? Where's Heero? He was, just..." Duo trailed off, realizing what he was saying. "Oh my God. No! He was here, he was!" Tears began a steady stream down his face. Relena hesitated for a second and then wrapped her arms around him and held him close.  
  
"It'll be alright, Duo. Just calm down. Calm down."  
  
Slowly Duo's tears subsided. "I'm sorry," he said, dragging the back of his hand across his eyes, "I've been such a wreck lately. I can't be much fun to hang out with."  
  
"Nonsense," Relena responded firmly. "You just suffered a terrible loss. It's expected for you to be at least a little torn up."  
  
"But you're so calm and collected."  
  
Relena laughed, but it wasn't mean, it was almost sad. "I deal with loss differently from most people. I get very maternal and overbearing. It drove my friends spare."  
  
Duo sniffled and clutched a pillow to his chest. Relena's eyes brimmed with tears at the sight of him. She hadn't cried when Heero died. Hadn't cried when Duo confirmed the news. Hadn't cried at all. But she cried now. She cried for this poor lost soul. All the suffering he had faced in his relatively short life; his years as a street rat, the war, Heero's death. So much suffering.  
  
She felt Duo hug her awkwardly and pressed herself into his warm embrace. How he found the strength to comfort her even in his grief she didn't know but she was glad of it. So, so glad that he, at least, could be strong.  
  
"I'm sorry," she said, sitting up again.  
  
"Don't be," said Duo. "No one's going to punish you for one moment of weakness."  
  
"Oh, Duo. I wish you could hear yourself."  
  
Duo looked away from her. Relena reached up to touch his cheek and he recoiled. "Don't," he said harshly. "Don't touch me."  
  
"But Duo..."  
  
"No! Don't touch me dammit! You, you feel like him."  
  
He was pacing now. Back and forth, back and forth. "Duo..." she said weakly.  
  
Duo's eyes were shut and tears glistened on his cheeks. "We would sit there, together, and watch TV, and laugh. And then he would touch me, so lightly I barely felt it, and yet it burned me. Just a light brush of fingers, to make sure I was still there, still with him. During the war, there was always that danger. The chance that we wouldn't be together the next day, or even alive. When it was over, we clung to each other. We didn't want to feel that way ever again. We didn't want to be alone." Duo opened his eyes. "He lied to me. He promised he would always be there. But he lied. He's not here now. He's not here." Duo sank to his knees, but his eyes were still open. "Why did he leave me? Was I not good enough?"  
  
"Oh, Duo. Duo, it wasn't you. It wasn't you at all. It was Heero's time to go, that's all."  
  
"He was so young. We were just starting. Why'd he have to die?"  
  
"Hush, hush. Don't cry. Heero didn't want to go. It was a horrible accident that's all. Calm down." Relena paused and brushed Duo's chestnut hair out of his face. He hadn't brushed it in a few days and the braid was starting to unravel. "Maybe we ought to go outside and do something, okay? We could go for a walk."  
  
Duo hesitated. "I want to, but... I can't."  
  
"Come on. It'll do you good to get out of the house. You need some fresh air."  
  
Duo sighed and slowly got off the couch. "I'm going to go take a shower."  
  
Relena nodded and watched him as he wandered away into the tiny bathroom. She heard the water turn on and allowed herself to let the tears fall. Apparently Duo had had the same idea. He shut the water off and she could hear the sound of his sobs.  
  
It pained her that he had to suffer this way. She wished she could help him but she had no idea what to say or do. She cast her eyes about the room hoping to find something to distract her from everything.  
  
There was a photo in a frame on a bookshelf. Even from the couch she could see clearly that it was Heero and Duo. Heero was smiling, looking so content with where he was. He was focused on the person behind the camera and didn't notice Duo watching him with a look of complete and utter love.  
  
The tears welled up in Relena's eyes again but this time they weren't from sadness. They were happy tears.  
  
"You are strong, Duo Maxwell," she whispered. "No matter what life throws at you, you will survive. Just trust yourself."  
  
She got up off the couch and went to pack. She had a feeling that Duo wouldn't need her for much longer.  
  
Fin

Please leave me a review to tell me what you thought of it. I like it but I think the end's kind of rushed. Please tell me what you think. Thanks!


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